Liezl’s FAQ as a person who can’t swim:

1) How did you not learn to swim?!?! 
I took two lessons when I was in kindergarten. If I had the vocabulary to say so at the time, I would have described my teacher as a dick. Oh, and at one point almost drown in a pool. After that I decided to avoid pools. It’s surprisingly easy. Turns out there are a million other things to do besides swim, like play Super Mario Bros.

2)  Can you swim in a lake/ocean? 
No. There is no grey area when someone says “I can’t swim.”  Not knowing how to swim extends to all bodies of water.

3) Swimming is SO easy! 
As an adult, getting over the anxiety of being engulfed in a substance that can easily kill you isn’t so easy.

All that being said, I decided to finally give this swimming thing a go last month. Turns out there’s a really great adult swim program nearby so I couldn’t find anymore excuses. 

I’ve taken 4 lessons so far, and amazingly, I don’t feel like a complete failure. Though when I do, Jay and the guys at work remind me that I’m not going to be a pro after being in the pool 4 times in a lifetime.  I’m not very coordinated so moving all your limbs at different speeds while your face is in the water isn’t exactly natural or easy. Fortunately, Gabby, my teacher is patient and doesn’t make me feel like an asshole or the slightest bit embarrassed for not getting it.

So on the .001% chance one of my followers is in the same boat as me, there’s still hope. If you want my instructor’s contact info, inquire within.